Like the precious petals strewn on a promising wedding march, carried by the slightest of draft, those words rang through the quiet of the night. It dissipated quickly but enough to unsettle me. I turned back and flashed my cynical smile. It's becoming a daily affair,this cynical flash. I don't like it.
I walked, not turning back to see if he was watching. I wanted the dark to engulf me and make us one. I exhaled a big sigh, a tired one. It is not fair that women feel so much more than men, carry a 9-month burden before the joy and yet are caretakers of their egos.
I looked out for him. I guess I was setting myself up for disappointment. I should have known better. But I felt for him - one could say, I love him, my sweet Valentine. I thought I was a superwoman, immune to the petty pangs of envy. I was his human shield - I thought I could withstand the battle and come out unscathed. It didn't matter - we were in it together. Little did I know that I was setting myself up for defeat because the enemy was not the others - it was himself.
So with grace only bestowed upon me by my Maker, I admit defeat, I lay my sword in surrender at his feet. I am only human, I cannot carry this on my shoulder, battling him and the others.
take up my sword left
at your feet, Lover
scar yourself if you must
someday
the sword may also part
the disappointment, that is now
in my heart
Petal P. Rose
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