I looked at the mirror today and just noticed a few more strands of grey. No matter how I pluck them out, they grow again and again and again, not knowing they are unwelcome to join the others.

I found those lines sitting in my draft post - from 2009!  I have 16 unfinished blogposts and will attempt to post them up as and when the inspiration to continue with it hits me.  They feel so detached from me now - "Did I write that?  Why did I start that and in what relation it is to?"  Those opening lines were written then, can I bring it back to present and make it relevant to me now?

I can definitely relate to grey hairs and unfortunately, relevant.  I shall continue on from the post above:

I looked at the mirror today and just noticed a few more strands of grey. No matter how I pluck them out, they grow again and again and again, not knowing they are unwelcome to join the others.

I don't stop them now. I can't.

Some wear them with pride.  Like a crown of wisdom.  Some with embarrassment - "I need to see my colourist - my roots are showing!"

Don't stop me now.  You can't stop them.

In the end, we all turn grey.  The grey will turn white.  The whites will stay.  In the end, we are ashes and dust.

Petal P. Rose

 

Well, well.

Wowsers....has it been that long?!  I decided to have a peek at this blogsphere and realised that I last wrote in 2010.

So much has happened since then that it's difficult to capture each and every moment.  I've now "grown-up", engaged, with a house and mortgage and getting married next year - unreal!  I've also decided to take a sabbatical from the boredom of working as a corporate rat and climbing endless ladders and signed up to study remedial massage.  Quite the 360 degree but I figure, it's an industry that will not die and something that I can do on the side.  If it doesn't work out, I can always go back to being a boring corporate rate, climbing endless ladders - blagging my way through, coupled with massive dosages of alcohol and mindless dribble - NOT.

Thing is, I've decided to re-assess my life as a whole.  Re-jig my priorities.  Priorities that mattered then, do not matter now.  I don't want to be stuck in a job where it feels that I'm pushing through resistant tidal waves.  I want to focus on the softer things in life - looking after myself, my fiancé, building home and family.  It really puts things into perspective - that all the years of corporate climbing is no longer important.  Don't get me wrong - that's all good et all, but taking stock, no amount of money or applause or clap on the back for a job well done is going to cut it.  We spend so much of life investing and focusing on that damn ladder and wanting some sort of validation or recognition.  What does that do?  Why do we not invest as much as or even more, towards ourselves?  Where the rewards are not tangible at times but surely, it pays better?  Some might argue that by chasing that ladder, that it is a self investment but there are other aspects of self, no?  This is my take on things, anyway, it's too long an argument to go into on a blog.  I thought of remedial massage as that is a way of taking care of yourself.  I've just started on this journey.  Thing is yes, we need to learn the technical stuff but at the same time, this course makes me think and be self-aware.  I get such headache reading my course material because it makes me pause, think and check myself.

I'm also reading through my past posts and I wonder where that creative aspect of me has gone hiding?  I used to be active in the arts.  I want to get back into it.  There are so many things I'd like to do before I leave this world and I am grateful that I have the chance now - now is never too late.  All the things that have fallen wayside in the pursuit of ......I don't know what now, I can't remember!  Music, photography, arts - things that make me tick - that would be part of my focus, part of my personal investment.  I am not just a corporate rat, I am more than that and I hope you recognise that in yourself and keep reminding yourself before you forget the essence of you.

Petal P. Rose