I didn’t know that I was in a relationship. I’m one half of a “platonic lover” it seems. I didn’t understand exactly what was meant by that. Well, I have a vague idea but still, I needed to confirm it. I did a google and true enough, as I had thought – it means being in a deep, non-sexual relationship. It is not gender specific, this relationship – meaning, I can be in a platonic love relationship with someone of the same gender.
Hmm…I didn’t know what to make of it. I mean, at least he loves me – love is love, whatever the form may be. It only becomes a problem when one of the pair doesn’t feel the same way. When one wants to hug and kiss him fiercely. When the heart beats faster that it should, leaping at every morsel he gives out. That’s what I see when I look into his intelligent, naturally lined eyes with those soft brown eyes. But I have had to refrain – afraid that it would ruin whatever good we have so far. Then I would be left with no love and no platonic relationship.
We always have a great time together and we hardly do anything much. We mostly sit and chat or he does his work while I watch the TV. It is a warm, comfortable silence that exists and I relax whenever we are together, instinctively knowing that I am safe and I will be looked after. Every sentence spoken is a tease that begets a quick rebuff from the other one, with just the slightest of a smile and lots of mirth reflected in both our eyes. It is difficult to read him at times, though. I know that beneath that smiling face and witty jokes, there’s more. He covers it up pretty darn well but I instinctively know what he needs for that moment.
“It’s nice to have company sometimes.”
“I know.”
“How do you know?”
“I don’t know…Instinct.”
As the elevator door opens, the moment dissipates, carried away by the gentle breeze of the morning, beginning to be warmed by the glorious sun.
He makes me smile.
Petal P. Rose
