Uncertainty

Will you remember the words exchanged, ten years from now? Keep it forever in your memory, never to lapse, like it was just yesterday. I can’t guarantee that I can, honestly. At times I forget what I had for lunch last Tuesday. Ten years – is it too long? When things go rough, will you remind me of our good times? We never know what the future will bring. Or will I only know the worst of times – sitting on the ledge of the cracks of happiness.

Can I trust you not to twist the knife when it’s already sticking out at the ribs? I trust you won’t do that – stick your foot and leave me clutching my empty stomach. The feelings I have are so intense, it hurts, just right there, when I take a breath or to sigh. I am punched out of air, withholding my all, tentative and waiting for the next strike.

Am I meant to be here? Are we meant to be? Am I entitled to it or will I get cheated of even this tentative happiness? I ponder on it a lot, wearing the cold hard cement of my mind with the constant scurrying of extreme thoughts. At times it feels as though I will succumb to it, I want so much to throw out the white flag and surrender…ah, sweet surrender.

I don’t have anything but myself to serve you on a humble thali platter. Will you take me in? I promise in turn to love and cherish you. That’s all I’ve got – you can have it all.

Petal P. Rose